Three Things I’d Do If I Started Over

Parents, Three Things I’d Do If I Started Over

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There’s no do-over with our kids. When the clock ticks midnight that day is forever lost. Fortunately, children are resilient to a point. You can get back on track. If you’ve failed, you can start anew. It’s not going to be easy, but any move in a better direction of parenting is worth it. Recently, I’ve been around couples who have had their first child, which got me thinking about if I was asked what would be the best things to do to help raise them in the Lord from the beginning, what would I say? I wasn’t asked. So, here I am telling you. Again, I’m not getting a do-over. There shouldn’t be any regret for me as a parent—we were married nine years before children. I have no excuse for not getting it right. Of course, I have regrets, and I wish I had done things differently. Of course, I wish I had done things better. I can’t start over, but I can start anew. Yet if I could start over these are the three things I’d do if I started over.

In parenting there are thousands of facets so a list of only three things sounds underwhelming, but these three things fall under my parenting goal being that my children would follow Jesus all the days of their life. Speaking of parenting goals listen for episode three of my podcast, Stand Firm Parents, as we talk about parenting goals.

So, my do-over.

My list of three.

 

  1. I’d keep being real.

When I originally planned this post, my list was much longer. As I narrowed the list down, I was surprised to find there was a couple things I was glad I’d done. This first one sounds odd to be the top thing I’d do if I was starting out as a new parent, but from my journey with stand firm, youth pastoring experience, and parenting experience I believe it’s one of the greatest things we can do to help our children have a faith that lasts.

Simply being real about faith is so important.

We don’t have to be perfect, and we don’t have to pretend to have it all together. We just need to be honest about our walk with Christ.

One of the things I am most proud of in our parenting is that Amanda and I have never once told our children, “You can’t act that way, your Dad is the pastor” or “Don’t act that way at church.” From the beginning we have had the conviction that our family doesn’t do anything because of a ministry position, but that we’re genuinely us. We’re not going to change or put on a face for ministry’s sake. We want our kids to know that we follow Jesus and live out our faith because we truly love the Lord not merely because we’re in ministry.

Along this line, I’m also proud that I have constantly apologized to my children about my screwups. Somewhere along the way I began going to them and telling them I was sorry I acted a certain way. Just the other day I overreacted to something my daughter had done. My reaction wasn’t called for. So, when I chilled out, I went in and told her just that.

Hopefully, my girls see I genuinely want to be a faithful follower of Christ and though I’m not perfect, I’m  trying.

Parent, if I was starting as a new parent I’d be sure to be real.

We just need to be honest about our walk with Christ. Click To Tweet

  1. I’d get my stuff together.

The second thing I’d make sure I’d do if I was starting anew as a parent again would be to get my crap together. Even though Amanda and I were married nine years before we had children and we’re the age of grandparents at our kids’ ball games, I still hadn’t worked through a lot in my life. Now we aren’t ever going to be perfect on this side of the resurrection—not even close, but there are some things I wish I had figured out.

Our children are worth us sucking up our pride. They’re worth us throwing off our insecurities. They’re worth pushing through fears. Our kids are worth us throwing off our selfishness. They’re worth us not having to have things a certain way—our way. They’re worth us growing up.

Parent, if I was starting as a new parent, I’d get my crap together.

 

  1. I’d double down on Bible reading and authority of the Bible.

Again, I was surprised to find a couple things I was glad that I did originally as a new parent. This third thing is all a credit to my wife, Amanda. Having done a lot of work on marriage and family in Bible college and seminary, I had lofty goals of all the teaching and activities I wanted to do with my kids. I lasted a couple weeks doing them, but Amanda faithfully read a Bible story nearly each night -to them. Our oldest went through the 100 Bible Stories for Children 16-times in her first seven years, as well as a couple trips through The Biggest Story. My wife would grab a stack of book and the Bible nearly every night. She’d read the other books, but when she came to the Bible, she’d stress that it was different. Unknowingly, her method instilled an incredible foundation of Biblical authority in their lives and our family.

In a recent interview on my podcast with Answers in Genesis’ Ken Ham, he shared that the number one thing to help our children have a faith that lasts is for them to recognize the authority of Scripture. We accidentally did that.

This also laid a solid foundation of the Biblical narrative. We didn’t teach lessons, we just read the Biblical accounts. This has allowed our children to be able to draw conclusions based upon the Word themselves.

We didn’t plan for that to be our system, but if I was a parent starting again, I’d double down on Bible reading and laying a foundation of the authority of the Bible.

If I was a parent starting again, I’d double down on Bible reading and laying a foundation of the authority of the Bible. Click To Tweet
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